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Dypo Tarch: Ace Attorney

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Dypo
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« on: July 03, 2010, 03:19:50 pm »

[The Turnabout Begins]

May 31, 9:53 AM
District Court
Defendant Lobby No. 1


Dypo: (Why did I take this case...? It's not like I'm prepared or anything...)

??: Hey, lawyer-dawg! You're gonna defend me, amirite?

Dypo: Ack! Y-Yes sir! (Damn! How could this kid have caught me off-guard?) Zack, I hate you.

Zack: Heh. Scared ya, didn't I? Anyways, I didn't kill nobody, pops.

Dypo: Of course. (...? Negative + negative = Positive. Which means, he IS the killer, no? Please, somebody tell me I'm wrong...)

Jaycee: Nah, It's probably just that he's a kid.

Dypo: Whoa! (What's with all these people appearing outta nowhere?!) How the heck did you know what I was thinking?

Zack: She's a psycho, duh.

Jaycee: N-No! I'm not a psycho!

Dypo: (Ah! Maybe it's becuase she read my lips' movements...)

Jaycee: Nope, that's not it. I can't read the movements of your lips at all.

Dypo: No way! W-What's the trick behind this? I demand you tell me!

Jaycee: *giggle* Female intuition.

Dypo: *facepalm*

Bailiff: Court is due to commence shortly. Mr Tarch, please proceed to the defense's bench.

Jaycee: Oh, before I forget... Your boss made me your legal aide!

Dypo: WHAT?!

Bailiff: Please make haste, Mr Tarch. It's already 9:59 AM.

Dypo: O-OK...

May 31, 10:00
District Court
Courtroom No. 2


Judge: *slams gavel* Court is now in session for the trial of Zack Chidder. Are the prosecution and the defense both ready?

Dypo: Er, yes, Your Honor. The defense is ready. (I hope...)

??: The prosecution is also ready, Your Honor. Hee hee hee... Looks like I get another rookie to throw onto the pile...

Dypo: (Who is this guy? Never seen him...)

Judge: Very well. Mr Payne, your opening statement, if you please.

Payne: Certainly, Your Honor.
We have decisive evidence it was the defendant who committed this heinous crime. Furthermore, we have a witness who saw the very moment of the crime. The prosecution sees no room for doubt, Your Honor.

Dypo: (Oof, that sounds pretty airtight.)

Jaycee: Don't worry, prosecutors always say the same thing.

Dypo: ... I presume this is your "female intuition" again? I could swear I didn't say anything.

Jaycee: Of course.

Dypo: Then could you read that prosecutor's mind now? Please?

Jaycee: But that's no fun, is it? You have to crush their argument!

Dypo: Thanks for nothing, Jaycee...

Payne: *clears throat* I would like to call my decisive witness.

Dypo: By all means, do.

Payne: Very well then. The prosecution calls Dep Leighground to the stand!

...

Please state your name and occupation for the court.

Leighground: Hey, yo! I ain't gonna say nuttin' if ya don't show me some common sense!

Dypo: (Oh boy. Do I really have to cross-examine this guy...?)

Payne: Witness, pl-

Leighground: Ya just said who I am, and everyone heard it, didn't they? So why the hell d'ya wanna ask my name again?

Payne: Mmph...!

Judge: Now, now, Mr Leighground, there's no-

Leighground: Whaddaya mean, no reason to blah blah blah! Lemme just start with the damn testimony, will ya?!

Judge: I don't particularly care for-

Leighground: *death glare*

Judge: D-Don't kill me! *hides under desk* You may, um, begin your testimony, witness.

Dypo: (I-Impressive. He shut both of them up on a moment's notice...)

Leighground: Damn right I can!

TESTIMONY
--What I Saw--

Leighground:
I saw the kid killing Midori, I'm sure of it.
He took out a pocket knife, and stabbed her in the back!
He then took the body and tried to hide it, but I stopped him before he got away from the school premises.
I restrained him, and called the police.

Dypo: (This is it! The cross-examination! If I don't blow a hole in his arguments, I'm done for!)

Jaycee: Dypo, this might be a good moment to check the Court Record. Then you can point out the contradiction using that!

Dypo: (Hm... There might indeed be some merit to that... Let's give it a try.

[Court Record] => [Evidence]

[Attorney's Badge]: Proof of my profession. Using this, I can look the part, even if I were wearing a T-Shirt.
[Autopsy Report]: Details Midori Kisomagi's murder. {Stabbed twice, in the chest. Two layers of blood found surrounding the chest.}
[Murderous Knife]: The murder weapon. Victim's blood and suspect's fingerprints were found on it. Length: 10 inches.

[Court Record] => [Profiles]

[Jaycee Lambers]:
Age: 16
Gender: Female
Works at the same Law Offices as me. Cheerful and optimistic. Apparently appointed to be my legal aide.

[Zack Chidder]:
Age: 12
Gender: Male
The suspect in this case. Elementary school kid. How could they suspect this kid?

[Midori Kisomagi]:
Age: 12
Gender: Female
The victim in this case. Was apparently top of the class.

[Winston Payne]:
Age: 64
Gender: Male
The prosecutor for this case. Awfully overconfident.

[Dep Leighground]:
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Teacher at an elementary school. Has a bad attitude which makes him unpopular with the kids (and adults, for that matter.)

CROSS-EXAMINATION
--What I Saw--


Leighground: I saw the kid killing Midori, I'm sure of it!

Dypo: >HOLD IT!<
Hm... How did you identify the suspect, Zack Chidder?

Leighground: I couldn't possibly mistake that kid. Look at his hairdo! It's all spiky, and ARGH!

Dypo: *sweats* ... Point taken. Please proceed with your testimony, witness.

Leighground: He took out a pocket knife, and stabbed her in the back!

[Present] => [Evidence] => [Autopsy Report]

Dypo: >OBJECTION!<
I'm sorry, witness, but that's simply not possible. For you see, the autopsy report clearly states the victim was stabbed in the chest. It's inconceivable.

Judge: Mr Tarch, what's the meaning of this?

Dypo: That's exactly what I would like to know. Well, witness? Care to offer an explanation for this fatal mistake?

Leighground: ... Er, wouldja mind if I amended my testimony? I just remembered something, you see...

Dypo: As you wish. (There's no way he can worm himself outta this one anyway!)

TESTIMONY
--What I Saw, Pt. 2--

Leighground:
I suppose I was mistaken just now.
He actually stabbed her in the back first, and then in her chest!
That's what happened.

Judge: I see. Your cross-examination, please, Mr Tarch.

Dypo: Certainly, Your Honor.

CROSS-EXAMINATION
--What I Saw, Pt. 2--


Leighground: I suppose I was mistaken just now.
He actually stabbed her in the back first, and then in her chest!


[Present] => [Evidence] => [Autopsy Report]

Dypo: >OBJECTION!<
Mr. Leighground.

Leighground: Whaddya want this time?! *growl*

Dypo: (Agh... s-scary... But! I won't let him get away! Not a chance!)
You are a poor, poor liar, witness. As the autopsy report states, there was blood on her chest, but none on her back!

Payne: But-But the autopsy report could simply not have stated-

Dypo: I'm sorry, Mr. Payne, but that's not possible. An autopsy report contains all the relevant data on the victim's body. There's no way they would leave out something like a stab wound to the back!

Payne: *recoils in damage* Aaaaaauuuuuuugggggghhhh!!

Dypo: So, witness, how do you explain this glaring contradiction?

Leighground: ... I-I... That day, I-He stabbed back-no, chest... er...

Jaycee: Dypo! He must be the killer!

Dypo: (Thanks, Captain Obvious...)
Well, witness? The court awaits your dazzling explanation!

Leighground: Wait! Now I remember! My memory wuz a li'l fuzzy cuz it was so shocking, see...

Judge: To be honest, I have my doubts about this witness. All these blatant contradictions are hurting his credibility. Your thoughts, Mr. Tarch?

Dypo: (I can take this chance and argue that there's no decisive witness, and therefore, my client is innocent, but if I do, this guy will get away! I can't let that happen!)

*deskslam*

The witness may testify. It is our duty to hear every possible aspect of the crime. Thus, we cannot ignore a possible scenario, even if unlikely.

Judge: You heard him. Your testimony, if you please.

Leighground: Ya, course, sure, certainly.

TESTIMONY
--What I Really, Really Saw--

Leighground: I remembered what really happened.
The suspect called out to the victim, while pointing the pocket knife at her.
He made a stabbing movement, and that's why I thought she was stabbed.
Then the victim turned to the suspect, and screamed.
The suspect threatened her for a minute, and then the suspect attacked! She died immediately.

Judge: I see. Mr. Tarch, you may begin your cross-examination.

Dypo: Yes, Your Honor.

CROSS-EXAMINATION
--What I Really, Really Saw--


Leighground: I remembered what really happened.
The suspect called out to the victim, while pointing the pocket knife at her.


Dypo: >HOLD IT!<
What was his motive, in your opinion?

Leighground: Huh? I dunno, little brats are crazy, that's what! He don't need no reason to kill her.

Dypo: I... I see.

Leighground: He made a stabbing movement, and that's why I thought she was stabbed.

Dypo: >HOLD IT!<
Where were you at that point in time?

Leighground: I believe I was standing about 10 ft away from them.

Dypo: >OBJECTION!<
In that case, why didn't you do anything to stop it?

Leighground: Well, I-I-

Dypo: I'll tell you why: You are the murderer. Nothing else is possible. You were there, coolly observing a murder? You had loads of time. First, he unpocketed his knife. That's the moment you should have acted. Pocket knives aren't allowed in elementary schools, no?

Furthermore, he called out to a classmate while holding it. If that isn't suspicious, it wouldn't even be suspicious to say you love someone straight to their face!

On top of that, he was threatening her for a whole minute! What were you doing? Tell us, Mr. Leighground. Surely, you can't claim you weren't strong enough to restrain a 12-year old?

Leighground: I-I-I-I-I-I...!

Dypo: *finger point* Can you claim you stood there, doing absolutely nothing?!

Payne: This is ridiculous! What are you-

Leighground: No... I did it.

Dypo: (He's confessing it...?)

Payne: ...!

Judge: WHAT?!

Leighground: But! I-I didn't do it on purpose! I was throwing knives at some dummies, when one of them went through the open window. *crying* Midori turned around, I remember that now. S-She was caught in the chest. I frantically searched for someone to pin this on... and then I saw it: The suspect's pocket knife. It's identical to mine. I switched the knives, but I trembled so much, I pushed it in too far, and blood gushed out...!

Payne: No! Clearly, the witness is mad! He's spouting gibberish!

Dypo: (His story explains why there were two layers of blood! But..) There's one other thing, and I think I know what it is...

Payne: Madness! Insanity! The witness has gone crazy!

Judge: *slams gavel* Enough! Can you back up the witness's story, Mr. Tarch? If you can't, then I'm afraid I'll have to believe that he really is mad.

Dypo: *nod* Yes, Your Honor.

Firstly, his story explains why there are two layers of blood. Since he is a witness, he hasn't heard that from anyone prior to court, and it wasn't mentioned during this trial either.

Secondly, this explains something about this piece of evidence...

[Present] => [Evidence] => [Murderous knife]

>TAKE THAT!<

Judge: The pocket knife? Why? I don't see anything wrong with it...

Dypo: Look at the description, You Honor. It says the victim's blood was found on it. However, it doesn't state how many layers were on the knife.

Since there were two layers of blood on the victim's body, we can assume that they would also be present on the murder weapon, yes?

Judge: Ah, I see. And you'd like it to be examined; is that what you're saying?

Dypo: Exactly.

Payne: This can't be happening... After this, I'll be reduced to a "Rookie Victim"! This is ridiculous...

Dypo: (Poor guy... Not.)

Judge: Bailiff! Get this to the Forensics Dept. at once!

Meekins: Yessir! Meekins to the rescueaaargh! *trips*

Judge: *sigh* He'll never learn, will he...?

...
...
...

Meekins: Sir! It has been analysed, and only one layer of blood was found! It was not fresh, either!

Dypo: And this proves it was only plunged into the victim's body after the deed was done.
...
That is all, Your Honor.

Judge: Well! I'm ready to announce my verdict.

(Payne: *mopes* *mopes some more* *is reduced to "Rookie Victim"*)

The court finds the defendant, Zack Chidder...

NOT GUILTY

*crowd celebrates*

Judge: Court is adjourned! *slams gavel*

May 31, 13:36 AM
District Court
Defendant Lobby No. 1


Zack: Thanks, pops. You really bailed me out in there. But that Leighground... Was he really the killer?

Dypo: To be honest, now that he's suddenly changed his mind and confessed, I doubt he is. But the most important is that you're free to go. If it turns out this Leighground really isn't the killer, I'll find a way to prove it. Eventually.

Jaycee: Yay, you did it, Dypo! You cleared Zack of this crime!

Dypo: *blush* Heh, it's nothing. He was innocent, after all.

Jaycee: *pecks Dypo on the cheek and runs away*

Dypo: H-Hey! What the-

Zack: Heheh, you're completely reddening, pops.

Dypo: N-NO! That's so not true! And don't call me pops!

Zack: Hehehe, it's no use. This'll be known everywhere in a couple a' weeks. HmhmhmHAHAHAHAHAHA!! *runs away*

Dypo: Ugh, damn it, Zack. I effing hate you!!

[END OF CASE 1]
« Last Edit: July 06, 2010, 02:48:01 pm by Dypo » Report Spam   Logged

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Dypo
The Overworked Sprite Artist
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Posts: 90



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« Reply #1 on: July 05, 2010, 06:31:30 am »

I know, it's pretty lame that Leighground just confesses, but this was just a test to see how to do the formatting.
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Dypo
The Overworked Sprite Artist
Administrator
Experienced Attorney
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Posts: 90



View Profile WWW
« Reply #2 on: July 10, 2010, 02:28:28 pm »

Because of Ike's request to make my story more detailed, I'll write this in novel form.

---

[Turnabout Darkness]

Prologue

A man was running through a forest. He was being pursued, but by whom, he knew not.
"Stay there!" his pursuer exclaimed, but the man neglected to do so. Suddenly, an owl shrieked, its voice piercing the cold, dark night. Dep Leighground knew he couldn't run away forever. Thus, he decided to stop in the end. Panting heavily, he straightened his back and turned to face his pursuer, who was still quite far away.
He thought it would not do to run away uselessly. For though his condition wasn't bad, his pursuer was younger, and stronger than him. Therefore, Leighground assumed his pursuer would catch up eventually. He decided to try and trick his pursuer; those were his only means for survival.
"It's wise of you to stop. You were merely delaying your inevitable demise, anyway," his pursuer said smugly. "Now, you will die." Leighground's pursuer drew a knife, which alarmed Leighground. At this rate, he might not have a chance to trick his pursuer.
Trying to appear relaxed, Leighground commented, "What's your motive for doing this? What would you gain from killing me?"
His pursuer merely said, "The dead have no use for information in the afterlife." Then he lifted his knife, and attempted to stab Leighground. However, Leighground sensed his movement, and sidestepped to the left. He grabbed his pursuer's arm, leaving a trail of blood, as Leighground's uncut nails went into his pursuer's arm very deeply.
Letting a scream of agony escape, his pursuer tossed aside the knife, and made his escape. Leighground's nails had disabled his arm by hitting its internal nerves and piercing them; it hung besides his body uselessly. Leighground wished to go after him, but no longer had the strength to, so he lay down to rest from his fateful encounter.

---

This is the prologue. I've written it in kinda complex English, because I figured that's how prologues are supposed to be written. At least, from what I could see in the books I've read thus far.

Alright, on to Chapter 1!

---

Chapter 1

"Hm... Alright, let's see what today's newspaper has in store for me. I haven't got anything to do, anyway." Dypo picked up the newspaper at a nearby store, and started reading. There wasn't anything particularly interesting, but he soon realised he'd skipped the front page, of all things.
"What the-?! Prisonbreak? Here?!"

PRISONBREAK IN PENITENTIARY

Yesterday, on the 3rd of July, a prisonbreak occurred. Two men escaped. According to witnesses, one of them was being dragged by the other. The staff of the penitentiary in question have no explanation as to how they were capable of escaping. Currently, one of the two men has returned of his own. He was confirmed to be Dep Leighground, who was-

"WHAT?! T-The guy I got convicted...? But how...?" Dypo, even being as confused as he was, decided to keep reading in the end, thinking it might give him some sort of explanation.

-convicted for the murder of Midori Kisomagi. He was physically unstable when he finally managed to return, and has not yet been taken in for questioning. However, it seems obvious he broke out of prison against his own will, as he has returned of his own. [Author: Lotta Hart]

"I think I ought to pay him a visit. I already had my suspicions he might not be the killer, but now I'm almost completely certain he isn't. He's being set up, I'm quite sure of that now," Dypo mumbled. He was responsible for this, for he was the one who got Leighground convicted.

---

Will finish this later, promise.
« Last Edit: July 10, 2010, 02:30:28 pm by Dypo » Report Spam   Logged

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« Reply #3 on: August 07, 2010, 01:51:25 am »

Turnabout Ninja (revamp of “The First Turnabout”)

Prologue

The world we see is the only reality. …Or is it? Perhaps this image of the world is fueled by mankind’s  limited powers of perception. The possibilities are endless. Perhaps this world is but the product of a game played by someone in a bigger world. Perhaps, if the higher power, the one playing this game, erases all data, this world will vanish. Who knows? There is but one thing that’s consistent in every world. Death. Death is the end of everything. Whether it be described as erasure, annihilation, the portal to another world, or a crash, it remains the same.

Chapter 1

Why did my first case have to be a murder? And why the hell didn’t my client tell me anything? I know virtually nothing about the case. Dypo decided he’d have to push the detective on this case for some information. As a greenhorn, he needed all the help he could get. Am I really up to this? he thought unconfidently.
“Of course you are. Don’t worry about it, Dypo,” the girl standing next to him remarked. It was Jaycee Lambers. She was another greenhorn attorney, and was appointed as Dypo’s co-council.
“Yeah, you´re probably ri -- Wait a minute.” There was something wrong about what she’d just stated.
How did she know what I was thinking? Dypo thought. Logically, she shouldn’t have known about my doubts regarding this case. Maybe she can read minds? …Nah, can’t be. With his curiosity piqued, Dypo decided to inquire a bit more.
“Alright, Jaycee. Spill it. What’s the trick behind this mind-reading thingy?”
“Female intuition, you know.” She winked.
“I’m not buying that. C’mon, you can tell --” Dypo was stopped mid-sentence when someone else decided to voice their opinion.
“Looks like you guys are having fun alright,” Mr. Wright said. “But take it from someone with experience, Dypo: You won’t find out the trick behind this.” He chuckled when Dypo looked at him disappointedly.
“Thanks… very reassuring, Mr. Wright,” Dypo replied.

Just then, someone burst in, without Dypo even noticing.
“Hey, Lawyer-dawg! How long you gonna make me wait?!” the boy, who appeared to be in third grade, shouted.
“Ack!” Dypo exclaimed in surprise. I-I completely forgot about him…
“So, uh, you’re gonna defend me, amirite?” the boy -- who was called Zack, Dypo remembered --  asked Dypo.
“Yeah, that’s right. I’m your defense attorney,” Dypo replied, unsure of what to think.
“In that case, you’d better get me declared innocent, aight? ‘Cause I ain’t killed nobody.”
Unless I’m over-analyzing this, he just admitted he did kill someone… Dypo thought. This could be bad for my case. It’s probably due to his young age, but if they take him the wrong way…
“You know, if you think about it real hard, in order to be telling the truth, he would’ve had to have killed someone. I agree with you, though; it’s probably ‘cause of his young age.”  Jaycee interrupted his thoughts YET AGAIN.
Ugh. I forgot she could read minds with her so-called “female intuition”.
“I can still hear you, you know!”Jaycee exclaimed when she heard Dypo’s thoughts again.
Mr. Wright chuckled again.
SO ANNOYING, he thought. Jaycee groaned in response.

“Court is about to commence. Please proceed to your respective seats.” the bailiff’s voice could be heard clearly.
Dypo went into the courtroom immediately. His heart was beating so hard, he was surprised no one could hear it. This courtroom was where it would start. This courtroom would be where it was put to an end.

The Judge slammed his gavel, asking for order, and said: “Court is now in session for the trial of Zack Chidder.” The Judge looked out over the courtroom earnestly. “Are the prosecution and the defense both prepared?” he inquired when he had ascertained they were both present.
“The prosecution is ready, Your Honor,” a wrinkly old man, appearing to be the prosecutor, said.
“The defense is also ready, Your Honor,” Dypo said, and he miraculously managed to appear to be relaxed.
The Judge looked at Dypo’s face, trying to remember something. When he failed to do so, he rifled through his papers and found Dypo’s profile.
“Mr. Tarch, was it? This is your first time defending someone, isn’t it? You seem relaxed for a rookie.”
“Thank you, Your Honor,” Dypo said, gracefully accepting the compliment and ignoring the ginormous contradiction in that statement.
“Hehehe… Of course, be that as it may, you will be crushed nonetheless. Being relaxed is no substitute for experience, rookie,” the old prosecutor remarked.
Following the Judge’s example, Dypo decided to rifle through the court record in order to find this old guy’s name.
Winston Payne.  “The Rookie Killer”? What utter nonsense. I’ll make sure you are reduced to “The Rookie Victim” after this trial.
Jaycee giggled, apparently having heard Dypo’s thoughts.
So annoying…
“I heard that!” Jaycee whispered self-consciously.
“Oh, man. This is gonna be a loooong day.” Dypo sighed to himself. Little did he know he’d have to deal with her when he signed up at the Gavin Law Offices. Sure, she was nice. Dypo even dared say he considered her pretty. But her so-called “female intuition” was… unsettling.

The Judge cleared his throat. “Are you finished chatting with your aide, Mr. Tarch?”
Startled, Dypo turned to look at the Judge. Luckily, his eyes were twinkling cheerfully. An expression that probably came from the Judge’s memories of the past, in Dypo’s opinion.
“Er… yes, of course!” Dypo stuttered, remembering he hadn’t answered yet.
The Judge nodded. “Very well. Mr. Payne, your opening statement, if you please.”
“But of course. Let me start by saying the defendant is guilty. This is shown by the decisive evidence, and the decisive witness. That is all, Your Honor.” Payne looked at Dypo with a smug look on his face. Overconfidence seemed to be this guy’s middle name.
“I don’t think so…” Jaycee muttered. She giggled quietly, as if she’d just heard a joke.
“What? What is it, Jaycee?” This had piqued Dypo’s interest. What if she, using her “female intuition”, found out Payne wasn’t nearly as confident as he seemed?
“Oh, nothing. Payne just thought he might get to revive his reputation as “The Rookie Killer”. Apparently, the last time he won a case was 10 years ago.” Jaycee now had to struggle to keep her laughter under wraps. Dypo stepped behind her and put his hand over her mouth, trying to help her stop laughing.

Chapter 2

The Judge sat at his bench. He sighed when he heard Payne’s opening statement. How many times had he heard those words, in that context? Payne hadn’t won a case in 10 years. The Judge chuckled at the thought, and readied his gavel to declare the defendant innocent. Suddenly, some commotion reached his ears – which weren’t exactly what they used to be.

Wide-eyed, he noted that the defense attorney had stepped behind his aide, and had put his hand over her mouth. It looked as if he were strangling her or otherwise trying to render her unconscious. The Judge knew he had to take action.
“Mr. Starch! What are you doing?!” he shouted at the top of his voice. The defense attorney turned to face the Judge, looking embarrassed. It must’ve looked quite… awkward.
“I was trying to help her stop laughing,” Mr. Starch said sheepishly.
“Oh really? Why was she laughing?” the Judge asked. Somehow, he thought Mr. Starch was avoiding something.
The defense’s aide wrestled herself loose, looking relieved, albeit still hiccupping. “I’m fine now, Dypo. Your Honor, allow me to clarify. I used my female intuition to interpret Mr. Payne’s thoughts, and --“
“NOO! DON’T!” a shrill voice from the other side of the courtroom shouted. The prosecution seemed to be in a panicked state, the Judge concluded.
“What seems to be the problem, Mr. Payne? Surely you are not hiding anything from us, are you?” the Judge asked, glaring at Mr. Payne suspiciously. His wild imagination took some crazy turns, and took an insane conclusion, albeit unnoticed by the Judge.
“AHA! It is all becoming clear to me now. ...Yes, it’s clear that the defendant is innocent,” the Judge said confidently. At that moment, the Judge resembled his younger brother especially much.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Your Honor, have you gone crazy?! Why would you think that?!” Payne looked as if his heart had just been slit out of his chest, never to be returned.
“I know, because it is YOU who is the killer! I see no room for doubt. This court declares the defendant, Zack Chidder…”
The Judge stopped for a moment. The whole courtroom had gone awfully quiet.

Chapter 3

“Uh... Your Honor...” Dypo attempted, “it doesn’t seem very likely Mr. Payne did it, despite his obvious overconfidence and his hopelessly inflated ego.”
“Indeed. I agree with -- what? “Obvious overconfidence and hopelessly inflated ego?” Payne started sweating all over.
“Ehehe... I must apologize. Sometimes, my imagination and my logic take sudden leaps, you know… It must’ve been my undying desire to find the truth…”
Or was it your undying desire to get back home and watch the soccer championship today? Dypo thought sarcastically.
“A-Anyway! Please call your first witness, Mr. Payne.” The Judge seemed to be attempting to change the subject.
“Err… Alright. The prosecution would like to call the detective in charge of the initial investigation.”
The court grew unusually quiet when the detective entered the courtroom. Dypo could have sworn he almost tripped over his coat.
“Detective Gumshoe, please state your name and occupation." Apparently, Payne didn’t notice how awkward that sounded. But apparently someone else did.
“That prosecutor is really dense, huh? He asked the detective for his name and occupation, even though he just stated it himself!” Jaycee whispered. Dypo laughed quietly. He could almost picture Payne asking such stupid questions a dozen times a day.
Payne started sweating bullets.
Maybe not so dense after all, huh? Then Dypo noticed Gumshoe laughing at Payne. Okay, maybe it’s because of that.
“That’s definitely a distinct possibility,” Jaycee agreed. “That detective looks rather scatterbrained, so if he caught on…”
“Yeah, I imagine it’d be real embarrassing…”
“Er… Let’s just get on with the proceedings, shall we?” Payne looked almost desperate.
“I agree. We’ve kept the detective waiting for long enough already,” the Judge put in.
“I’m guessing I can skip to the testimony, right?” Detective Gumshoe asked. “After all, Mr. Payne’s already introduced me.”
Somehow, the words Out Of Character came to mind. Mr. Wright had always described Gumshoe as scatterbrained, yet he managed to catch on before Payne did. Dypo guessed maybe Gumshoe had learned some stuff in the past two years.
“Very well, Detective. Please give us a brief outline of the case,” the Judge commanded.
“Sure. Fine with me, pal.”

The detective started his testimony. It seemed strangely solid, but then it was only an outline of the case.
His testimony was a follows:
“The crime occurred yesterday, at 3:00 PM.
The crime scene would be the victim’s house.
She died due to a stab wound caused by a kunai.
Since the suspect was the only one carrying kunai, that makes him the only likely killer!”

Dypo remembered to press him for as much info as he could, since he still didn’t know much, except that he got the autopsy report.
“Will you be cross-examining the witness, Mr. Starch?” the Judge asked.
“Absolutely!” Dypo said with confidence. The Judge sighed.
“Alright then, if you must.”
He doesn’t look too happy. Maybe the championship’s already begun? Dypo shrugged it off. He had no time for this nonsense. “One cross-examination, coming right up!” he uttered aloud.
“Good luck, Dypo!”Jaycee whispered.

Dypo nodded. This trial had only just begun. It was up to him to lower the curtain. For the real killer.
He listened carefully as the detective repeated his testimony, statement by statement. After listening thrice, he believed it was time to press for some information.

---

End of part 1 of the revamp.

---

Part 2, ready to roll.

---

“The crime occurred yesterday, at 3:00 PM,” Gumshoe repeated.
Not being sure what he was going to need from this statement, he just pressed anyway.
Trying couldn’t hurt.
“Hold it!” Dypo shouted.
“How can you be so sure?” Dypo asked. “Normally, autopsies tend to result in an “Estimated Time of Death”. How did you get such a precise time?“
“It was all in the witness’s account, pal! We went with the time the witness gave us, ‘cause it pretty much matched up with the EToD,” Gumshoe explained.
“I see. And, for the record, what was the EToD?” Dypo asked. He had the nagging feeling he could use this against the next witness.
“What’s the use, pal? Your client is doomed as it is. Ho ho ho! But... just for the record, it’s between 2:30 and 3:30 PM, alright pal?”
“That is a rather large gap! Please add this to the testimony, Detective Gumshoe.”
“Yes, it does seem rather important. Please do so, Detective,” the Judge said, eyebrows scrunched, as if deep in thought.
“Not that it will change the outcome of the trial, of course. Hee hee hee…” It surprised Dypo that Payne was still capable of laughing, despite the humiliation earlier.
“Um, Dypo? I think the Judge’s imagination is taking some bizarre leaps again,” Jaycee commented after seeing the Judge’s face.
“Maybe, but I doubt he’ll say it out in the open again,” Dypo whispered. “In any case, please continue with your testimony, Detective.”
“Sure thing, pal!”

“The crime scene would be the victim’s house,” Gumshoe repeated. The second statement. At first sight, nothing was wrong. But still, something piqued Dypo’s curiosity. He shrugged. Alright. Here goes nothing!
Again, he shouted “Hold it!”
“”Would be”, Detective? Does that mean it’s possible it didn’t occur in the victim’s house at all?!”
“Maybe so, pal. I dunno. But I actually meant to say the crime scene IS the victim’s house. I just thought it would sound more sophisticated this way.”
You fail to grasp the concept of “stating the cold, hard facts”, Detective.
Jaycee giggled, but Dypo just shrugged. It was a good joke.
“Okay, please continue with your testimony, Detective.”
“Actually, I’m supposed to say that. I let it slide last time, but you’re not getting away with it this time!
P-E-N-A-L-T-Y.”
“Yargh!” That… that hurt.
“It affected me, as well. Next time, think before you say something!”
“Agreed.”
“Agreed.”
“Agreed”
Dypo didn’t even need to think to see the last “Agreed” was Gumshoe’s. Gumshoe was the only one who could forget a dot at the end of a sentence. Dypo could practically picture it now.
“Hello I´m Gumshoe I work at the local precinct I´m in charge of the investigation”
Yep, that’s how his chatbox messages would look.
“Dypo, you know how to chat? Why didn’t you add me on AIM?”
“Add me too!”
“And me!”
“Don’t forget about me!”
Dypo shuddered. Jaycee seemed to have a hypnotizing effect on people. It was like that […] thingy, except worse. Who was this girl, really?
“Your Honor, could you please ask the detective to continue with his testimony?”
“Right. Detective, please continue with your testimony,” the Judge concurred.
“Yeah, I’m on it. You didn’t have to tell me that, though. I could tell.”
“I shall not allow lying in this courtroom! P-E-N-A-L-T-Y!” the Judge said. He looked strangely amused.
He’s just doing this for kicks, isn’t he?
“Owch! That hurt, pal!”
« Last Edit: August 09, 2010, 02:38:23 am by Dypo » Report Spam   Logged

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« Reply #4 on: August 09, 2010, 02:40:53 am »

Part 2 of part 2. XD

---

“She died due to a stab wound caused by a kunai.” Of course, it’s Gumshoe who’s saying this. What’d you expect?
Whilst rifling through the court record, Dypo encountered something weird. The victim was stabbed twice in the same place. Seems like it’s worth a try, at least.
“Hold it!” Dypo shouted.
“Yet, the victim was stabbed twice, wasn’t she?”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t change the fact that the murder weapon was the defendant’s. Maybe he just had a grudge or something?” Gumshoe asserted.
“It doesn’t matter if the victim was stabbed once or thousand times. She’s still dead, after all. Hee hee hee…” Payne said, tapping his forehead.
“Objection!" Dypo shouted at the top of his voice.
“Don’t you find that odd, Mr. Payne? Because, as you can see… the victim was killed with one blow. And you even kindly repeated it for us, making the information valid.”
“Mr. Starch, where are you going with this…?”
Did he just get my name wrong YET AGAIN?
“I’ll explain. If the victim was killed with one blow, why stab her twice?”
“But maybe it’s just like Detective Gumshoe said. Maybe the defendant just had a grudge?”
“Perhaps the killer had a grudge, yes… But that creates yet another inconsistency.”
“I see… Not a bad deduction, Dypo!”
Shh. My deduction hasn’t been written in this fanfic yet.
“Oh.”
“You see,” Dypo continued, the murder weapon in our possession only has one layer of blood splatter. Wouldn’t you expect a murder weapon that was used twice to have two layers of blood, as well?”
“Y-Your Honor! It doesn’t matter whether it has one or two layers!! The defendant’s fingerprints were found on it!!!”
“Objection!” Dypo shouted.
“Prosecutor Payne. I’m sorry, but I’m afraid that’s impossible. Tell me, how do you stab someone twice without getting two layers of blood on the weapon?”
“W-Well, maybe he used another kunai for the first blow…”
“And was such a thing found at the scene?” Dypo asked, grinning.
“N-No, but maybe he just…” Payne suddenly started tapping his forehead. “Yes, that’s it. He must’ve disposed of the weapon somewhere…”
“Objection!” Dypo shouted. He let out a tired, (albeit over-exaggerated) sigh.
“That makes no sense in the least. Why dispose of one weapon, and leave the other IN THE BODY?”
“Urk.”
“This can only mean one thing. My client was framed by the real killer.
First, the killer killed the victim, at, say, 2:30 PM. …In line with the EToD. Then, he disposed of the weapon, explaining why no one else was carrying kunai during the investigation. Next, he took one of the defendant’s kunai, and plunged it in the body. Finally, he left the corpse in the victim’s house. I think that if you are to examine the blood on this kunai, and the blood on the real murder weapon, you’ll find that the blood on the real murder weapon is much, much older.
...That is all, Your Honor.”
The courtroom stirred, started murmuring, and exploded with excitement and chatter.
“Order! ORDER! Order in the court!”the Judge shouted, slamming his gavel. Dypo noticed it was slightly showing signs of breaking. Not quite surprising, considering the amount of times he’d used it. “Mr. Starch.”
“Tarch,” Dypo corrected.
“Mr. Tarch. You have raised an intriguing possibility. It’s quite far-fetched, but I think I may be forced to believe you if Mr. Payne cannot disprove your theory. Well, Mr. Payne?”
Suddenly stopping to sweat, Payne started tapping his forehead.
“Why, yes, I believe my decisive witness can disprove this silly theory.”
So if some random guy shows up and testifies they saw the crime, evidence is deemed moot? I think the law needs some heavy editing…
Someone giggled.
This is not a laughing matter!
“Yes it is.”
“What.”
“Don’t you see? The next witness is probably the killer! I mean, if Zack didn’t do it, and he just so happened to have “witnessed” the crime…” she whispered, eyes sparkling.
“Ah, I see what you mean!” Dypo pointed his finger towards Payne. “Whether you call this witness or not, Mr. Payne, the outcome shall remain the same. Please call your witness.”
“What did I say about stealing my lines, Mr. Starch? P-E-N-A-L-T-Y!”
“Ack! It hurt much more this time!”
“Look out, Dypo! You only have one life left! If you get another penalty, we’re doomed and the client will be declared guilty!”
Heavy editing FTW?

Wait a sec… I think she just asserted that this is just a game.

“Did not!”
“Sure, whatever you say.”
“Now then, Mr. Payne,” the Judge said, “please call your witness.”
“Yes, Your Honor. The prosecution calls Mr. Dep Leighground, a local shopkeeper, to the stand!”

Chapter 4

Winston Payne had a bad feeling about this. This rookie was a tough nut to crack. Just like all the other rookies around these days. Hopefully, his witness would net him just one victory, because one day remained before there would be ten years in which Winston hadn’t won a single case. Why, oh why was he cursed with his rotten luck to have the real killers testify? It happened all the time in the last 9 years and 364 days. All he could do was hope.
When the witness arrived at the witness stand, Winston said: “Please state your name and occupation, witness.”
“Sir, might I remind you of the instant you called me to the stand?” Leighground asked.
“Um, yes, you can…” Winston didn’t like where this was going.
"The prosecution calls Mr. Dep Leighground, a local shopkeeper, to the stand!”, I believe it was? That means I don’t have to state anything, does it not? You’ve already said enough. Don’t be too hasty to get on with the trial.”
Winston was utterly humiliated. To have made the same mistake two times in a row… He shook his head. Unforgivable.
---
So he took out his gun and committed suicide. No, wait, scratch that. Nothing strange happened. No suicide.
---
But he couldn’t back down now. He had to win.
“A-Anywy!”
“See, you are too hasty. You forgot an “a”. Bad performance, Mr. Payne in the @$$.”
“Mr. Leighground! Please refrain from personally attacking the attorneys!” the Judge yelled.
“Ahem. Forgive me, Your Honor. It just… slipped out,” Leighground said to “apologize”.
Liar…
“Um, witness. Please give us your testimony regarding the murder.”
“Sure, why not? I’ll gladly explain why the defendant did it,” Leighground said, grinning broadly.
At least he might give a decisive testimony, Winston thought.
“Alright, witness. Please testify as to why Zack is the killer.”
“Et tu, Mr. Payne? Really, no one has any respect for Judges nowadays.” The Judge sighed again.
“I’m sorry, Your Honor, but asking the witness to testify IS the prosecutor’s job,” the rookie said. “It’s the Judges who have stolen their line over and over again. It says so in the law book I studied in Law school.”
“O RLY?” the Judge asked.
“YA RLY!” the rookie replied.
“NO WAI!” the Judge countered.
“YA WAI!” the rookie finished.
“Egads! I’ve lost to a rookie in a battle of wits?” the Judge wondered, then sighed. “Alright then, Mr. Payne. You can have your line back.”
“Nice of you to help out The Rookie Victim like that,” Payne heard the rookie’s co-council say.
The Rookie Victim?! Last time I checked, I was still The Rookie Killer, for sure!
Unaware of Winston’s inner monologue, Leighground proceeded to give his testimony. His testimony was as follows:

“By “Why the defendant did it”, you mean his motive, I presume?
If so, very well, I shall indulge you.
Back in the day, on the 20th of July, I started selling kunai.
It just so happened that the victim bought the last package of four kunai, right in front of him.
The defendant then approached me and asked me whether or not the kunai were still available.
I then directed him to another shop, but he refused to buy them elsewhere.
You see, the kunai I sold were signed by the Jammin’ Ninja himself.
When I said the ones the girl bought were the last, he got quite tantrummous.
I then proceeded to calm his tantrummous self by promising him to send them to him.
He still looked quite angry then, because she ruined his chance to get them from the freshest batch.
You see, the kunai’s designs change as per the batch they come from, and the first batch was the nicest, and contained one of the Jammin’ Ninja’s very own hairs.
That is all.”

That’s… quite a long testimony. A bit of a frail motive, but considering the fact that he’s a mad fanboy, credible enough to net me a victory. Come and get it, rookie! Payne thought, tapping his forehead.
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Whilst scrolling, you may have missed the above post, which contains a vast amount of truth, reason, and wisdom.
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